why is

that when i send too much time with a person i become a bit annoyed?

im stupid to become even a little emotional attached. i must start acting like a boy. just as i thought i was getting good at it.

i still dare to test the waters even though i drowned before.

Im dipping my fingers into the water, and emailing steven back and forth. im scared. i dont know if im luring him in for fun, or if im really feeling it. My fingers and toes are freezing cold. Maybe cause i keep trying to temp my body, but i should jump in for a swim.

i wish i could've registered for an art class at Baruch for next semester. im going crazy.

time to play with makeup.

Edit

From The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Inspired by Frank-N-Furter and Pixiwoo (fashionface)

Im confused

i dont understand how everything works around here, despite for how long I've had this blog for. Julie&Julia had inspired me to write here again.

Eventually I'll remember html, and all the sorts. I dont really like the idea of having pre-made layouts but, it'll have to do. i might alter things around though.

Ive been a big bum, besides going to the dentist today. I absolutely have to get my work done, today was the last day of the semester. I still have to get everything together and send it to my professor.

I hate the Dentist

The cringing i do in the chair is a clear sign of how much i am afraid of the dentist. The candy eating child that I was would always worry about cavities, however, I've moved onto bigger and much more horrible worries. According to one dentist, i had receding gums... so i panic, worry and would stare at my teeth in front of the bathroom mirror making these weird shapes with my mouth to get a better glance. Three days will pass by and i would slowly stop obsessing with my teeth and forget about brushing in light circles.

I really hate the high frequency noises the tools make; its the one that sprinkles water onto your teeth while s/he would scrape the surface of your teeth. That single part scares me, the fact they're using a metal thing to scratch your teeth clean. Of course when im asked to rinse, i see blobs of blood fall out of my mouth.

I dont know if its the dentist that my parents pick, but i quite sure that not all dentists are this mean and rough when it comes to cleaning teeth. Next week I've got an appointment with an oral surgeon to check out both my upper wisdom teeth.